I don't know who you are... yet.
I don't know how or when we will meet.
I don't know if you'll even notice me the first time we meet,
But I do know this,
that I'm sure I'll introduce myself to you and won't waste my chance to get to know you.
I don't know what you're doing at present.
I don't know anything about your past.
I don't know what the future will bring us.
But I do know this,
that I'll forever be present in times of success and difficulties in your life.
I don't know if you like books.
I don't know if you read poetry.
I don't know if you like to write,
But I do know this,
that together we will write the best love story ever written.
I don't know if we will have a lot of things in common.
I don't know if you'll hate my imperfections.
But I do know this,
that I will accept you for who you are, regardless of your imperfections.
I don't know how often we will argue.
I don't know what we will even be arguing about.
I don't know why arguing is even part of this poem.
But I do know this,
that I'll never let any argument break us apart.
There are a lot of things I don't know,
But I know that I will love you forever and will cherish every second we will be together.
Together we will be the best tag team, duo, friends, lovers, family that the world will ever see.
I have been sending my letters to cupid hoping he'd deliver them to you.
When his arrow hits you with all the letters I sent him,
Please don't be mad, for I have written so many.
I only have two requests,
First, please come sooner, I have been waiting for a long time now.
Second, I know that love is not perfect and will sometimes forget,
So if for whatever reason I forget, please show me this letter.
Friday, January 30, 2015
A Letter To My Future Girlfriend
Monday, January 19, 2015
Honest Poem (My Version)
I have a good speaking voice,
but with a self-confidence you can find 6-feet underground.
I talk a lot when I'm with my friends,
but can't find a word to say in front of a girl I like.
If I try to strike a conversation with her,
I begin to stutter and eat all the words as if there is a scarcity of it.
I like pizza and sleeping.
I know they don't go together, but first, who doesn't like pizza?
And second, although I like sleeping, it's the thing I'm most deprived of... aside from proper body mass.
It's obvious how skinny I am,
But why does skinny jeans make me look dumb?
I work eight hours a day, but can't seem to find the right position for me to sleep properly when I'm at home.
Or maybe, I'm just too afraid that when I sleep my nightmares will haunt me and will consume my entirety never to wake up again.
Or maybe, I'm scared of waking up and be back to this nightmare of a reality, where people whom I would take a bullet for are the ones holding the gun.
I honestly don't know which I am most frightened of, the nightmares I get when I sleep, or the nightmare of a reality I'm currently stuck in.
Unlike other people, I hate traveling.
Traveling just makes me feel tired and I don't want to tire my body for something I hate doing.
I play a lot of video games,
Because video games take me to a make-believe reality.
A temporary escape from this reality, where chicks dig assholes and friendzone nice guys. --Shout out to you nice guys out there.
I spent five years in the seminary, but had to leave because it was the right thing to do.
I had a girlfriend when I was there.
I never laid a hand on her, but her heart was bruised by every punch that she had to bear with every minute I was in the seminary.
My mom taught me never to hurt a girl.
Not because their heart is vulnerable,
But because women aren't toys that you just can set aside anytime you're done playing with them.
I take care of women just like my mom took care of me.
With respect, decency, and with all honesty.
My name is Arcy.
I was born on the year of the rat,
And I honestly don't give a fuck what that means.
Just like Rudy, I've been trying to convince my shadow that I'm someone worth following and have been hiding through metaphors.
I've said a lot about me, but please don't judge me.
Those things are crumbs of who I really am.
I just turned 30, another reason to celebrate the gift of life.
I say it's a gift because it was gratuitously given to me, not because I asked for it, nor earned it like a reward, nor do I deserve it.
I may have moral and political right to life, but I do not have a metaphysical right to it.
I cannot demand that I deserve the right to come into being or to deserve to exist for another day.
It was given to me freely by a higher Being whom I call my God.
*Inspired by Rudy Francisco's My Honest Poem.
but with a self-confidence you can find 6-feet underground.
I talk a lot when I'm with my friends,
but can't find a word to say in front of a girl I like.
If I try to strike a conversation with her,
I begin to stutter and eat all the words as if there is a scarcity of it.
I like pizza and sleeping.
I know they don't go together, but first, who doesn't like pizza?
And second, although I like sleeping, it's the thing I'm most deprived of... aside from proper body mass.
It's obvious how skinny I am,
But why does skinny jeans make me look dumb?
I work eight hours a day, but can't seem to find the right position for me to sleep properly when I'm at home.
Or maybe, I'm just too afraid that when I sleep my nightmares will haunt me and will consume my entirety never to wake up again.
Or maybe, I'm scared of waking up and be back to this nightmare of a reality, where people whom I would take a bullet for are the ones holding the gun.
I honestly don't know which I am most frightened of, the nightmares I get when I sleep, or the nightmare of a reality I'm currently stuck in.
Unlike other people, I hate traveling.
Traveling just makes me feel tired and I don't want to tire my body for something I hate doing.
I play a lot of video games,
Because video games take me to a make-believe reality.
A temporary escape from this reality, where chicks dig assholes and friendzone nice guys. --Shout out to you nice guys out there.
I spent five years in the seminary, but had to leave because it was the right thing to do.
I had a girlfriend when I was there.
I never laid a hand on her, but her heart was bruised by every punch that she had to bear with every minute I was in the seminary.
My mom taught me never to hurt a girl.
Not because their heart is vulnerable,
But because women aren't toys that you just can set aside anytime you're done playing with them.
I take care of women just like my mom took care of me.
With respect, decency, and with all honesty.
My name is Arcy.
I was born on the year of the rat,
And I honestly don't give a fuck what that means.
Just like Rudy, I've been trying to convince my shadow that I'm someone worth following and have been hiding through metaphors.
I've said a lot about me, but please don't judge me.
Those things are crumbs of who I really am.
I just turned 30, another reason to celebrate the gift of life.
I say it's a gift because it was gratuitously given to me, not because I asked for it, nor earned it like a reward, nor do I deserve it.
I may have moral and political right to life, but I do not have a metaphysical right to it.
I cannot demand that I deserve the right to come into being or to deserve to exist for another day.
It was given to me freely by a higher Being whom I call my God.
*Inspired by Rudy Francisco's My Honest Poem.
On Boldness
Tons of things I want to say,
My mind keeps telling me "nay".
Been longing for the day,
I'd man up with great array.
Have courage is what they all say,
Or else you'll end up in great dismay.
A coward never wins the day,
Stand up, be proud like the beautiful flowers of May.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
My Law Aptitude Exam (LAE) Experience
Written November 29, 2012
I took the Law Aptitude Exam (LAE) of the University of the Philippines last Sunday, November 25, 2012. It was a walk in the park--Jurassic Park. It was the hardest exam I've taken. In the test, we were to answer 400 questions in 4 hours without a break. The exam consists of seven part: Language Proficiency, Verbal Reasoning, Non-verbal Reasoning, Quantitative Reasoning, Critical Thinking, Reading Comprehension and General Information. The questions were hard and what makes it more harder was that we were also under intense time pressure. If only we had enough time I'm sure we'll eventually get the best answers to most of the questions, but it was the clock that killed us during the exam. Well I guess the saying is true then, 'Time is gold'.
Days before the exam, one of my friends who is already studying law in UP lent me his reviewer. I browsed it just to familiarize myself with how the questions were constructed. After browsing it, I put it under my bed and told myself that I really don't need to review since I'm just taking an aptitude exam anyway. I was wrong. I should have reviewed it. So to those who are planning to take the LAE in the future, I suggest you go grab yourself a reviewer and for crying out loud don't just browse it, review it. It's a reviewer, not a browser.
On the day of the exam, I saw a lot of people waiting outside their respective rooms and buildings. Most of them look young, so young that they even came with their parents. And some of them are just like me-- not old, but a working-law-student wannabe. I was not really in the mood to talk to anyone so I wore my earphones and relaxed myself by listening to my playlist while waiting outside the School of Economics' Auditorium until they called us only to find out that we were to transfer to a room in Malcolm Hall since the auditorium was under construction.
After the exam, I let out a great sigh of relief, thankful that it was finally over. The exam was so hard that I felt mentally and physically tired. I felt all my energy drained down to the last bit that when I got home, all I could do was sleep.
Aside from the results of the exam, the Admissions Office will also consider the applicant's undergrad General Weighted Average (GWA), which I'm really thankful for since I know that my undergrad GWA is really good. Hopefully my GWA will help me pull up my chance if the LAE results will not be in my favor. Out of the thousands of people who took the exam, only the top 200 will be allowed to enroll. And if the College of Law will do what they did last year, another 70-100 people will be given their chance subject for panel interview. After all that's been said and done, it really is now up to the hands of the One above. All I can do now is pray. If ever I'll pass the exam then to God be the glory. If I fail, then it just means that He has something different planned for me.
I took the Law Aptitude Exam (LAE) of the University of the Philippines last Sunday, November 25, 2012. It was a walk in the park--Jurassic Park. It was the hardest exam I've taken. In the test, we were to answer 400 questions in 4 hours without a break. The exam consists of seven part: Language Proficiency, Verbal Reasoning, Non-verbal Reasoning, Quantitative Reasoning, Critical Thinking, Reading Comprehension and General Information. The questions were hard and what makes it more harder was that we were also under intense time pressure. If only we had enough time I'm sure we'll eventually get the best answers to most of the questions, but it was the clock that killed us during the exam. Well I guess the saying is true then, 'Time is gold'.
Days before the exam, one of my friends who is already studying law in UP lent me his reviewer. I browsed it just to familiarize myself with how the questions were constructed. After browsing it, I put it under my bed and told myself that I really don't need to review since I'm just taking an aptitude exam anyway. I was wrong. I should have reviewed it. So to those who are planning to take the LAE in the future, I suggest you go grab yourself a reviewer and for crying out loud don't just browse it, review it. It's a reviewer, not a browser.
On the day of the exam, I saw a lot of people waiting outside their respective rooms and buildings. Most of them look young, so young that they even came with their parents. And some of them are just like me-- not old, but a working-law-student wannabe. I was not really in the mood to talk to anyone so I wore my earphones and relaxed myself by listening to my playlist while waiting outside the School of Economics' Auditorium until they called us only to find out that we were to transfer to a room in Malcolm Hall since the auditorium was under construction.
After the exam, I let out a great sigh of relief, thankful that it was finally over. The exam was so hard that I felt mentally and physically tired. I felt all my energy drained down to the last bit that when I got home, all I could do was sleep.
Aside from the results of the exam, the Admissions Office will also consider the applicant's undergrad General Weighted Average (GWA), which I'm really thankful for since I know that my undergrad GWA is really good. Hopefully my GWA will help me pull up my chance if the LAE results will not be in my favor. Out of the thousands of people who took the exam, only the top 200 will be allowed to enroll. And if the College of Law will do what they did last year, another 70-100 people will be given their chance subject for panel interview. After all that's been said and done, it really is now up to the hands of the One above. All I can do now is pray. If ever I'll pass the exam then to God be the glory. If I fail, then it just means that He has something different planned for me.
Dear Self
Dear eyes,
Stop staring at her, she won't be yours no matter how long you stare.
Dear nose,
Stop sniffing her hair.
Her scents linger that it breaks my heart every time I'm not with her.
Dear mouth,
I know you've been longing to taste her kiss, to lock your lips with her, but there are things in life that causes repulsion that they tend to move away from each other every time they meet.
Dear ears,
Every word she speaks vibrates to you like music,
Every time she speaks, you take each word and keep it in your treasure chest, your chest made of every bit of muscle your heart has.
Dear hands,
I know how much you want to hold her and to never let her go,
How you suck at fighting, and dribbling the ball with your left.
How drunk you are with all the alcohol-spraying I had to put you through.
Dear brain,
I hate how you suck at giving love advice.
Dear heart,
I know you've been through a lot.
I know you hate how irresponsible cupid is 'bout making you his target practice.
Dear self,
Before you start loving her, or any other person, please love yourself first.
Stop staring at her, she won't be yours no matter how long you stare.
Dear nose,
Stop sniffing her hair.
Her scents linger that it breaks my heart every time I'm not with her.
Dear mouth,
I know you've been longing to taste her kiss, to lock your lips with her, but there are things in life that causes repulsion that they tend to move away from each other every time they meet.
Dear ears,
Every word she speaks vibrates to you like music,
Every time she speaks, you take each word and keep it in your treasure chest, your chest made of every bit of muscle your heart has.
Dear hands,
I know how much you want to hold her and to never let her go,
How you suck at fighting, and dribbling the ball with your left.
How drunk you are with all the alcohol-spraying I had to put you through.
Dear brain,
I hate how you suck at giving love advice.
Dear heart,
I know you've been through a lot.
I know you hate how irresponsible cupid is 'bout making you his target practice.
Dear self,
Before you start loving her, or any other person, please love yourself first.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Mask
"Kung may problema ka, magsuot ng maskara",
(If you have a problem, wear a mask), the song goes.
That mask consumed my identity, munched on it like a savage with an insatiable hunger for covering up.
I looked at the mirror and see a man I do not know.
A man with a familiar face but with an identity I cannot fathom.
What happened to you? What happened to me?
What happened to the man I once knew who feared nothing and didn't give a shit.
Consumed by the standards that society dictates, my personality vanished. My identity morphed into something people can relate to, but an idenity I loathe.
"Kung may problema ka, magsuot ng maskara",
(If you have a problem, wear a mask), the song goes.
My sorrows hidden by a fake smile.
My burdens buried to a grave I dug myself, hidden to the eyes of other people, but weigh twice as much when I'm alone.
I'm a sad man, portraying happiness and making people happy. Throwing punchlines here and there, but is now bound by the lines I drew to make the illusion.
"Kung may problema ka, magsuot ng maskara",
(If you have a problem, wear a mask), the song goes.
I want to remove this mask, the mask that has trapped me in a make-believe reality.
I want my identity back, the identity I threw so I can fit with society.
To hell with the standards society has set. I want myself back.
(If you have a problem, wear a mask), the song goes.
That mask consumed my identity, munched on it like a savage with an insatiable hunger for covering up.
I looked at the mirror and see a man I do not know.
A man with a familiar face but with an identity I cannot fathom.
What happened to you? What happened to me?
What happened to the man I once knew who feared nothing and didn't give a shit.
Consumed by the standards that society dictates, my personality vanished. My identity morphed into something people can relate to, but an idenity I loathe.
"Kung may problema ka, magsuot ng maskara",
(If you have a problem, wear a mask), the song goes.
My sorrows hidden by a fake smile.
My burdens buried to a grave I dug myself, hidden to the eyes of other people, but weigh twice as much when I'm alone.
I'm a sad man, portraying happiness and making people happy. Throwing punchlines here and there, but is now bound by the lines I drew to make the illusion.
"Kung may problema ka, magsuot ng maskara",
(If you have a problem, wear a mask), the song goes.
I want to remove this mask, the mask that has trapped me in a make-believe reality.
I want my identity back, the identity I threw so I can fit with society.
To hell with the standards society has set. I want myself back.
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